Life as a newlywed and a proud parent of an adorable six-month-old at 22 years of age seemed too good to accept as reality — and this became ever clearer as time went on. I happened to experience a tumultuous divorce and needed to start a new life as a single mom after being married for less than a year.
I eventually sought out medical help. This is when I was given Xanax as a way to cope with the feelings of hopelessness. I grew to become addicted quicker than I could fathom. These are the ways I developed into a better parent when I got treated for my Xanax addiction.
I Stopped Being so Moody
People who have been victims of drug addictions seem to admit that you endure extreme lows and highs for no obvious reason, especially on Xanax. Though I had the desire to encapsulate my son’s childhood with tremendous attention and love, I noticed myself becoming aggressive and irritated with the trivial accidents involved with raising a toddler.
I had finally become the tolerant and patient mother that I had always dreamed to be after my treatment.
I Started Spending Much More Quality Time with My Kid
I was constantly late or making excuses as to why I wasn’t there for my child when I was under the influence of Xanax. While I was in the throes of addiction, I didn’t come to see just how many precious memories I was truly squandering, but I do now.
Staying sober motivates me to maximize and embrace the quality time I’m spending with my child these days.
I’m More Present to What’s Happening in the Moment
Rather than being so anxious and distracted throughout our scarce interactions, I now have the ability to stay present to the moment more often. This has strengthened our connection immensely. Just being there physically with your child doesn’t fulfill every need. You have to pay attention to your kids and let them take up your complete focus as a parent.
I Got Rid of the Fear My Child Was Developing Because of Me
My kid had grown to be truly frightened of me as much as it saddens me to accept it. I wasn’t abusive physically, but I was unquestionably hostile with my passions. It felt like anything my child did that I didn’t feel was ‘right’ angered me more than I like to admit. I didn’t have any issue voicing my rejection when I was on Xanax. It took a lot of time and apologies, but I was able to earn the trust of my kid again.
These days I’m much more responsible when it comes time to discipline my kid. He’s also more confident in recognizing his errors when he doesn’t fear cruel punishments.
I Now Have More of an Urgent Need To Defend My Kid
Although this type of feeling comes naturally to the majority of parents, abusing drugs has a definite effect on this aspect of parenting. I was apathetic sometimes and put the burden to take care of my son on my close relative. All of this was just to ease up a bit of my own stress. As I got rid of the drugs and became more cognizant of my duty as a mom, I regained my strength. My kid now places his trust in me to make most of his meals, tuck him in for sleep and anything in between.
I’m a lot more concentrated on getting him safe from harm’s way and readying him to move out.
I Eliminated Most of My Guilt
The shame of being someone who’s uninvolved as a parent weighed down on me. I started to become more detached and distant as a coping mechanism. I believed I didn’t deserve the love of kid. It was also belittling and embarrassing. That is the reason I encourage parents suffering from this guilt from drug use to seek help right away. I’ve learned my lesson and know now that children simply want us to experience the best. They’re far more merciful than you can first expect.
To learn more about Xanax addiction and treatment options, have a look at https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/xanax-addiction/.